27 things I think (that I know)
From the Happiness PhD Project with Jackson Kerchis...
I think you should always know the answer to the question: “What am I optimizing for?”… True for seasons of life, business projects, scheduling your week, exercise plans, etc. Hat tip James Clear.
I think you should take your work seriously, but never yourself. (And yet I still seem to struggle with this one.) Hat tip Charlie Munger.
I think anyone who isn’t ready for a dog should volunteer as a “dog socializer”. You just walk into the animal shelter and play with dogs whenever. If you’re not in a position to have a dog you can basically get all the benefits without any obligation, responsibility, or cost.
I think it pays to pay people to do annoying shit for you. You can go on UpWork.com and find someone to do just about any digital or online task. You can find people in your area to do many unpleasant in person tasks. In the last month I’ve paid to have my car deep cleaned, have someone research an offshore bulk printer for a happiness quotes calendar, have my business bookkeeping done, and have a full-time executive assistant. And by the way — I’m not rich. All that costs like a few hundred dollars.
I think you can solve 90% of your stress/anxiety by simply slowing your exhale. Aim for twice as long as your inhale: exhale as if breathing through a straw. You’re thinking, no it can’t be that simple to stop feeling anxious/stressed, it’s literally that simple. Try it.
I think Mark Twain was right: “If you don’t read the news, you’re uninformed. If you read the news, you’re misinformed.” Could this possibly be more true?
I think alcohol can be fun, but it’s insidious. “The four closest friends of my youth were highly intelligent, ethical, humorous types … Two are long dead — with alcohol a contributing factor — and the third is a living alcoholic (if you call that living). While susceptibility varies, addiction can happen to any of us through a subtle process where the bonds of degradation are too light to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. And, yet, I have yet to meet anyone — in over six decades of life — whose life was worsened by fear and avoidance of such a deceptive pathway to destruction.” — Charlie Munger
I think before any conflict or potential disagreement, you should yourself “what will be the best outcome for both of us in this situation?” If you don’t know the answer, then literally just ask the other person. Watch how doing this changes the quality of those interactions…
I think you should give away three things daily and without end - smiles, compliments, and gratitude (I could still do a lot better at this).
I think eggs deserve more than their relegation to “breakfast food”. Eggs have been unfairly and unjustly confined to breakfast and I simply will not stand for it. Eat scrambled eggs for dinner. Throw an over easy egg on top of just about any entree and make it even better.
I think there’s joy in having much older and much younger friends. There seems to be a sort of implicit age range matching in social interaction where generations keep to themselves (save family members e.g. grandparents). Some of my best friends from college were my professors in their 40s, 50s, 60s. A friend of mine and probably the smartest person I know is like 7 years younger than me.
I think some people will give you painful feedback and practical strategies when you’re not on track (this is my role). And others will make you feel okay, nurtured, and cared for to get you back on track (this is my girlfriend’s role). You need both, just try to get the right person at the right time.
I think learning is the key to happiness. Consider this – if you wanted to get better at math, what would you do? If you wanted to get faster, what would you do? You’d study a math textbook and then practice the problems… You’d read a book or watch videos on speed training and then go do the training… Happiness is no different. If you study the ingredients and conditions for it and then put them into practice, you will learn to be happier. Matthieu Ricard’s TED talk explains this perspective.
I think you should write handwritten thank you notes whenever possible. You will never regret the 5 minutes to do it, and it might benefit you immensely.
I think if you catch yourself thinking — oh I should probably… I ought to catch up with so and so… I ought to lose a few pounds… I ought to read more... etc... You should stop. And ask if this is actually important. If yes, then immediately open your calendar and schedule time for a specific, behavior-based plan to get after said thing. I will call/text so and so to schedule a time to catch up. I will call/text a personal trainer or purchase a gym membership. I will make a recurring appointment at 1pm for 30 minutes of reading Mon-Fri. (Read this for help.)
I think you can pursue happiness by avoiding unhappiness. Charlie Munger often quoted the old saying – “All I want to know is where I’m going to die, so I’ll never go there.” This is simple wisdom for a happy life. Think of the miserable people you know (you can probably name a few). What led them there? What makes them so? How can you avoid their mistakes? Avoiding obvious paths to unhappiness is a good way to pursue happiness.
I think Thoreau was right — “An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.”
I think we should do more “active leisure”. Most people only do work and passive leisure. Imagine you work all day then come home and scroll on your phone. Then on the weekends you drink and watch movies or sports. Active leisure is non-work that still requires engagement: exercise, crafts, arts, reading, writing, outdoor activities, games, etc. I once heard the brain is like a car battery, it recharges through use. Try doing more active leisure. Hat tip
.I think you should ask yourself “What feels like fun to me and like work to others?”. Spend a lot of time with that question… Identify your natural strengths and lean into them. This will make help you build a meaningful life.
I think you’ll eventually see the truth of the Zen saying “Let go, or be dragged.”
I think we should all read Goodbye Phone, Hello World (it only takes like an hour).
I think there’s a reason love is at the heart of every major religious and spiritual tradition. The wisdom of our ancestors is trying to tell us something about what matters most. And modern scientists are now in agreement finding that the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life (reference).
I think your imposter syndrome is probably accurate and it’s actually hilarious. I have a different take on imposter syndrome. If you ever feel like “damn, I really don’t know what I’m doing” or “shit I don’t deserve to be here.” You’re probably right! I mean what would it mean to know how to be a great teacher, a great parent, a great senior VP of finance, etc.? I mean is there a book on it? Is there some standardized test you can take? As a kid you look around and think all the bankers and store managers and coaches and parents know what they’re doing. Then you grow up and realize no one knows what they’re doing. We’re all just pretending to know what we’re doing! A few billions of years ago a neutron star 8000x bigger than our sun collapsed and generated a whole mess of carbon atoms which ended up on a little wet rock across the galaxy. Those atoms did some weird stuff and turned into little self-organizing cells which then grew up and jumped from water to land and in a few million more years made these semi-bald, self-aware monkeys that walk around on two legs and have a loosely constructed self-concept. You are one of them. And you thought it would all make sense? You thought you should feel like you have a clue about the big picture of what’s happening? You thought you should constantly feel on top of things? No! Feeling imposter syndrome is not only reasonable, but it is probably the only right way to feel! And I find whenever I can remember this perspective, I’m far better able to relax in the face of this “imposter syndrome”. And I might even have myself a good laugh.
I think you should take an Omega-3 supplement with at least 1,000mg per day of EPA. I’m not a big supplements guy but it blows my mind that no one talks about this. One study and one meta study have found that daily supplement of Omega-3 fatty acid with >1000mg of EPA was as effective as a prescription anti-depressant in improving mental disorders. This is not to mention the numerous other physical health benefits (reference & reference).
I think you should share your thoughts and perspectives with strangers on the internet. Because, why not?
I think you should read more books (especially when you’re “too busy to read more books”). I have never met anyone who is worse off for reading more books especially non-fiction or quality fictional literature. It’s not a guarantee that it will make you a better or wiser person as there are plenty of well-read dickheads out there. But it certainly won’t make your life worse.
I think you should contemplate death regularly. I don’t mean ruminating. I mean how many great spiritual traditions emphasize we should acknowledge the inevitable finality of death and the precious precariousness of life. In doing so it helps give perspective on what you do and why you do it. Nothing is so quick to shine a light on the triviality of your worries. And nothing is so sure to remind you of what your true priorities ought to be. Face death to learn about life (this post may help you).
Your happiness nerd,
Jackson K.