How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
This book is a very practical tool for happiness (and effectiveness).
I’ve recently re-read a book that helped to shape my character and my happiness.
Why this book?
Well, there's compelling research I've shared before that relationships really are the most important variable for your quality of life. So, it's not a big leap to say a book that makes you immensely more effective in dealing with people would be essential reading when it comes to happiness.
This book, more than anything else, helped reform me from a stubborn, argumentative, a**hole to a relatively tolerable social companion (although I still relapse on occasion).
Please enjoy this shorthand notes summary of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People…
Above all else…
Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. Consider all the criminals who thought they were in the right. Consider lessons from Lincoln and Franklin. And remember the father forgets. Dr. Johnson says “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days. Why should you and I?”
Give honest and sincere appreciation. The deepest desire is to be important. Charles Schwab, the first man to make a $1 million salary as the president US Steel said, “I consider my ability to arise enthusiasm among my people the greatest asset I possess and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticism from superiors… I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”
Instill in the other person an eager want. Henry Ford said, “If there is one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person‘s point of view and see things from that person‘s angle, as well as from your own.”
Win friends.
Become genuinely interested in other people. Remember the chain stored debate — a salesman who hated chainstores ended up selling a national account by going to their owner and listening to him defend their merits. Dogs are the greatest teachers of this.
Smile. This can transform your day.
Know their name. A person’s name is to them the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Remember the Pullman Palace car company example from Andrew Carnegie.
