Lessons from Spain: Messiness of "Work-Life Balance" and the Cosmic PoV on Productivity

I spent the last 2 weeks on “working vacation” visiting my old man in Spain and he asked me to reflect on any learnings that came out of the trip.

There’s two: (I) when it comes to work-life balance, the balance is always something you’re moving towards. (II) I was pleasantly reminded that nothing matters (but trust me I mean this in a happy way). Read on…

My Zen teacher Michael McCord once told me, the middle way is always something you’re turning towards. The “sweet spot” as it were – the even scale balancing work and life – is a moving target. It’s sort of like biking: the balance point changes as you move and encounter terrain. 

When I first got to Spain I struggled with trying to figure out the optimal “balance”.

Well, I’m on working vacation, should I do a usual 35 hour week? Well, I’m also on a once in a lifetime trip so maybe I shouldn’t work at all? Well, I am also an early stage small business owner and at this point — I am the business. If I don’t work there’s no money, so I better work. But then when I look back on this I might regret working whereas I will not regret gallivanting around Europe for 2 weeks like a college kid on summer break – and on and on I went oscillating between extremes. 

So what’s the right answer? 

That’s the bad news – I never got one. That’s right. There is no productivity fairy who can come to you and explain to you the exact amount of work you need to do each day and what those work tasks should be.

Life – especially as an entrepreneur – is a big, boundary-less, beautiful mess. We aren’t baking a tin of banana nut muffins here (2 hours at 350 degrees). We are figuring out how to make a living while making a life.  

What I ended up doing was aiming for an arbitrary number say 3-4 hours per day of high priority, revenue-generating work plus an occasional writing session. And the point is, this wasn’t the right answer. I can’t say if I will regret not spending more time hanging out or if I will regret having missed out on income. 

What I do know is all of the time I spent stressing over the optimal amount of work to “get” work-life balance was a tremendous waste of cognitive energy. It’s like asking what the right time it is to say “I love you”. I mean there’s definitely a wrong time (like on the 2nd date) but there’s no real right time. Or at least the range is a window of several months to several years. 

If you’re a fairly type A productivity type person like me then the lesson learned is to just drop it. Quit wasting energy trying to balance all the inner and outer expectations. As long as your work doesn't fall to pieces and the people in your life aren’t upset then you’re probably good. Obsessing over finding the “perfect work-life balance” is a waste of time. 

The middle way – the sweet spot – is always something you’re moving towards. 

In other news – none of this matters. Isn’t that a fitting sentence for an essay on happiness! 

I was touring the Alhambra which is a nearly 1,000 year old fortress and palace in southern Spain. The tour guide would share how the Sultan (Muslim prince) would sit in court in the massive shrine covered with intricately carved spires surrounded by servants and soldiers. On all the walls they carved phrases like “Allah is the only victor”. And I thought about how many hundreds of years and thousands of lives were dedicated to constructing this single structure. What if they could look at it now and see it for what it is: a crumbling ruin crawling with tourists? 

Now don’t get me wrong, it's a great visit. But this place that surely was thought to be a timeless, indestructible token of everlasting glory and power is now an old building on a hill outside Grenada. 

Now some people might disagree with that statement saying it overlooks the cultural and religious significance. Fair – it is culturally and religiously important but as the culture and religion of the time has changed so too has the status of the place. And of course physically, the palace has gone largely to ruin save a few refurbished chambers.

And I think this thing is really a beautiful reminder as to the status of humanity in the universe. Our status is statusless. 

We are but a twinkle in the eye of a distant star. We are absolutely, utterly insignificant on any cosmic scale. This relic that was the center of a thriving, world conquering empire is, about 10 generations later), some worn out rocks on a hilltop trapping tourists. What will it be in another 1,000 years? 10,000 years? 

And how about our society’s many attempts at grasping for some impact – some lasting sense of significance that we can cling to like a scared kid clinging to a life raft. How about the steam engine? Or the first airplane? Or the iPhone? 

I find it absolutely hilarious that Steve Jobs used to say “we're here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise, why even be here?”. As if he – or anyone – could even make a visible nick let alone a dent. Sure, the iPhone might have made a dent in human history. And whether it was a net positive or net negative dent is largely open to debate. But let’s call it a dent nonetheless… 

Now you’ll recall our species arrived 300,000 years ago which represents only 0.007% of the entire history of the planet (4.5 billion years). And in context of the history of the cosmos (13.7 billion years), rounded to the nearest whole number it is precisely 0%. 

And all of this is fine.

It’s totally good to want to impact the world. But what I realized sitting in the Alhambra that day is that 10,000 years ago there would have been nothing in that spot: dirt, trees, rocks. And 10,000 years from now what will be in that spot? Sand? Ocean? A futurescape Blade-Runner style city? Who knows – but it won’t be that. 

In the truly cosmic sense, everything is as meaningless as a falling leaf or a flash of lightning. 

AND what a relief that is. I mean it’s good news. Really!

When we remember our cosmic insignificance we realize that 95% of what we worry about isn’t worth the worry. The big lofty goals we put up on a pedestal: winning the gold medal or building the next Amazon.com are like snowflakes landing on a roaring fire. To the eye of the universe these things aren’t even a speck. 

So with the cosmic perspective, we remember that nothing is as significant as we think it is while we are thinking about it. And nothing is so consequential that we should let is diminish the quality of our lives. The wise person knows that there is no legacy, no dent to be made, no nothing – the best an entire empire can muster sits gathering dust on a sunny hill. So we might as well focus time and attention on what matters most to us and let all the other trials and tribulations go. 

I hope this article helps you to better navigate the messiness of working life. And I hope the cosmic perspective arms you with an antidote to worry – and to taking yourself too seriously (which is probably the most foolish thing one can do).

Your happiness nerd,

Jackson