On death before death and "soul searching"

From my next book of meditations on mindfulness, happiness, and radical sanity...

Over the next month I’m sharing one or two pocket-sized essays from my book. If you enjoy please reply for an advance copy or read the introduction.

Don't soul search, just watch.

“You lived four months as a Zen monk? You must have done a lot of soul searching…”

Nope, not really…

Folks are usually surprised when they hear that.

Zen isn’t soul searching - it’s soul observing. It’s not thinking – it’s awareness: turning the light of awareness inward.

So I say don’t bother soul searching – just watch yourself.

The problem with soul searching is it’s more thinking. It presumes that you’ll think your way out of confusion and ambiguity if you think enough. I’ve found that’s not true.

When you try to think your way out of confusion it leads to more confusion. A confused mind yields confused thoughts.

I’ve done a lot of watching my thinking. And I see it’s full delusions, biases, and nonsense. Most everything you and I think – especially the emotional stuff (e.g. political views) is based on assumptions and cultural conditioning that we’ve never noticed – let alone questioned.

So just watch in order to see your mind as it is. Learn all your old tricks. See what’s going on under the hood. If you’re wrapped up in thought you can’t see the forest for the trees. The trees are the thoughts. The forest is you. You want to understand you.

Don’t think so much. Don’t soul search. Just watch. And you’ll see that thoughts are not reality. Thoughts are thoughts. And you’ll realize wisdom isn’t thinking – it’s beyond thinking.

Mindfulness: To Die Before You Die

“He who dies before he dies does not die when he dies.” - Zen quote popularized by Jon Kabat-Zinn

To practice mindfulness is to practice dying. But not in the usual sense...

What does it mean to die?

To let go of everything. Drop all burdens. Cut all chains. Cease all grasping. Leave behind all concepts.

So to die before you die is freedom.

It's not the freedom we usually think of – to do whatever you want. This is a different sort of freedom – freedom from the roles we’re so busy playing. The demands, stories, narratives, obligations, and ideas shackle us down as life slips past in the background.

It’s freedom from your self (with a lowercase s). Paradoxically - it's the freedom to live.

When you die before you die you are untouchable, unhindered. You identify with your true Self (with a capital S). This is the awareness that's always been and will always be.

You’ve died many times already, you know... Where’s the you from yesterday? Where’s the you from 10 years ago? (You looked so different back then.) Where is the you as a child?

You’ve died many times. Life itself is in a way protracted death. So why be afraid? Why cling to this self?

Die before you die so you can be free, so you can find your true Self, so you have nothing to fear and nothing to worry about.

Learning to die is learning to live.