Why Happiness?

Happiness Encyclopedia I from the Happiness PhD Project...

Why do you want what you want? Why do you do what you do? I mean, why do you do anything at all when you could just do nothing?

These aren’t meant to be cheeky, philosophical questions. They’re worth considering.

In any given moment you could make essentially infinite choices about what to do or not do.

Right now you could stop reading. You could keep reading. You could go to the bathroom. You could buy tickets to go skydiving. You could email your boss and say I quit. You could email your boss and ask them to marry you. You could give away everything you own to charity. You could give away everything you own to me. That last one sounds pretty good actually.

Kidding… But it seems you made the choice to keep reading. Now – here’s a provocative take: pretty much everything we do, think, or avoid is about one thing: Happiness.

It’s about – in some way, shape, or form -- pursuing happiness and avoiding suffering.

Now this results in some peculiarities: plunging into a big tub of ice water so that you can feel better after, drinking a toxic chemical that will later make you sick (ahem, alcohol), staring at a screen in a boring building for 9 hours, 5 days per week so you can acquire the resources necessary to avoid suffering and pursue happiness.

Look, this business of being a human is messy and complicated. But the point remains. It’s about happiness. Aristotle said happiness is the only goal we pursue as in the end itself and not as a means to something else. Albert Einstein wrote –

“Everything that the human race has done and thought is concerned with the satisfaction of felt needs and the assuagement of pain… Feeling and desire are the motive forces behind all human endeavor and human creation…”

Going beyond Western philosophy and science, we see the same claim made in the Eastern wisdom traditions. The Dalai Lama explains –

“Every sentient being has the right to survive and, for survival, this means having a desire for happiness or comfort: that’s why sentient beings strive to survive. Therefore, our survival is based on hope – hope for something good: happiness. Because of that, I always conclude that the purpose of life is happiness.”

To this point, I’d argue you don’t really want the things you want: a great career, a nice home, a car, a cute family, a great partner, etc… Let me prove it.

Let’s say I’m a genie who will grant you all those things and more – all the recognition, money, success, and circumstances you could want. But that’s on one condition: I’m going to remove the parts of your brain and nervous system that allow you to feel happiness.

Would you take it?

See all the things we think we want are means to an end. We don’t actually want the thing: we want the feeling we think it will bring.

I want financial freedom so I can do what I want and not have to worry about money. So, what I want is to feel free and avoid feeling anxiety.

I want to find my soulmate so that I can feel love and connection. So, what I want is a positive emotion of love and to avoid feeling lonely.

I want to be a successful writer and thinker so I can grow and make an impact. So, what I want is a feeling of service and pride and to not feel insignificant.

So, if I can manage to experience feelings of freedom, love, and pride whilst simultaneously avoiding feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and inadequacy I will probably have what?

Happiness.

This is why I’m so adamant that the point is happiness. If we can get clear that this is what it’s all about, then life will start to make much more sense with a focus on the right area of inquiry.

I don’t want to get too philosophical here but this is a very important point. We often mistake means for ends. But all these things are a means to an end of happiness.

I should also be clear that this does not imply you are or should be inherently selfish. In fact we tend to see that more compassionate, altruistic, and prosocial people are happier and happier people are more compassionate, altruistic, and prosocial. It is a virtuous cycle.

It’s good to be good. In fact here are a few references to that point.

• Compassion toward others and self-compassion predict mental and physical wellbeing across a 5-year longitudinal study of 1,090 adults. (1)

• Prosocial behavior (giving time or money to help others) is generally associated with improved wellbeing. (2)

• “Altruistic (other-regarding) emotions and behaviors are associated with greater wellbeing, health, and longevity.” (3)

These are meant to illustrate that your happiness is neither selfish nor a zero sum game. In fact, I reckon that if everyone knew that what they were really after is happiness and then acted accordingly – the world would be a much better place.

That said, there are some practical benefits with respect to why we should care about happiness. It turns out it’s not just nice. It’s useful.

Happiness helps us get more success in just about every area of life.

We tend to think there is a relatively simple recipe for happiness. If you get more of the things you want, you are successful, and that will bring you happiness. Let’s see how well this works.

Have you ever thought “ohhh I just have to get through this week thennnn I can slow down a bit” or “this month is going to be crazy busy but it’ll be worth it” or “once I get this promotion or find the perfect person thennnnn” and then and then and then.

I remember the first speaking event I ever sold. I was so thrilled. In fact I earned $20 (so that I could say it was a paid gig) to drive three hours to Atlanta to give a speech for a group of about 25 door-to-door salesmen. I made the big time – that’s living the dream!

How long do you think that happiness lasted? (Keep in mind that some people consider me quite advanced when it comes to happiness.)

Well, if you answered more than a few hours, you, my friend, are wrong – because I’m an idiot.

It turns out that evening as I pulled up to the event I spilled coffee all over my white dress shirt and it was as if all that happiness just evaporated out the window.

You’ve probably had an experience like this before. Maybe it was small or maybe it was big: like the come down from your wedding or big promotion or graduation. As Mick Jagger sang, “I can’t get no satisfaction.” (For those of you who are not old, that’s a guy who sang in the 80s – I’m told he was once a big deal.)

As it turns out we have this recipe backwards. Where there’s happiness there seems to be more success. Important: this is not some manifestation, positivity, woo-woo thing – no.

This is a meta-study – i.e. a study of many different studies – that looked at over 200 papers with 275,000 participants. (4) The researchers concluded that while success does bring some happiness, happier people are more successful. This is the case for many trivial concerns like how much money you make, how well your career goes, how healthy you are, how smart you are, your relationships, your stock price (if you are a business), and perhaps even how attractive you are.

I feel I owe you a research reference for each of these.

• Happier (in this case in terms of optimism) salespeople outperformed their more pessimistic peers by 37% over two years. (5) In terms of general career earnings, happier people do better on the whole. (6)

• In a 2003 study researchers exposed volunteers to a cold virus to see how sick they got (fun study). People who tended to have a more positive emotional affect showed more robust immune response and fewer symptoms. (7)

• Several studies show a link between happiness and cognitive performance. Children have greater learning and retention when in a good mood. And they solve problems more effectively. (8) In adults the same pattern holds true. In fact several studies looked specifically at creativity and found people have a more expansive array of approaches to a situation when in a positive mood.

• John Gottman (The Gottman Institute) is a renowned clinical psychologist and professor emeritus at the University of Washington. He’s known for his research on marital stability and successful romantic partnerships. Since the 1970s, Gottman has developed methods to analyze interactions and predict divorce with over 90% accuracy. He suggests that positive emotion and positive outlook support a successful marriage: with a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interaction as a hallmark of success. (9)

• Irrational Capital has developed funds that invest in companies with higher benchmarks of employee wellbeing (see HAPI) and they have outperformed the market. This echoes Gallup research connecting employee engagement (enthusiasm and interest with one’s work) to financial performance (earnings per share and many other metrics). (10)

• Finally there are a couple studies which look at how your emotional expression influences perceptions of your physical attractiveness. And no surprise here — it looks good to feel good. (11)

Am I saying that if you just become happier (perhaps through reading this book) that you’ll become a millionaire, get those six pack abs, and have perfect health and relationships?

Yes actually, it is. But if you really want those things let me tell you about my six part seminar and line of daily supplements.

Kidding again… What I can tell you is it will increase your odds of success. And more importantly it may inspire you to prioritize learning happiness. Because as much as I’d like to just say well obviously we all want happiness — I reckon it helps in some way to know it will help us to be more successful in all these other things. Again happiness isn’t a zero sum game, success brings happiness and happiness brings success.

1. Lee, E. E., Govind, T., Ramsey, M., Wu, T. C., Daly, R., Liu, J., Tu, X. M., Paulus, M. P., Thomas, M. L., & Jeste, D. V. (2021). Compassion toward others and self-compassion predict mental and physical well-being: a 5-year longitudinal study of 1090 community-dwelling adults across the lifespan. Translational psychiatry, 11(1), 397.

2. Aknin, L. B., Whillans, A. V., Norton, M. I., & Dunn, E. W. (2019). Happiness and prosocial behavior: An evaluation of the evidence. In J. F. Helliwell, R. Layard, & J. D. Sachs (Eds.), World Happiness Report 2019 (pp. 67–86). Sustainable Development Solutions Network.

3. Post, S. (2005). Altruism, happiness, and health: It’s good to be good. International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 12(2), 66–77.

4. Lyubomirsky S, King L, Diener E. The benefits of frequent positive affect: does happiness lead to success? Psychol Bull. 2005 Nov;131(6):803-55. doi: 10.1037/0033-2909.131.6.803.

5. Seligman, M. E. P., & Schulman, P. (1986). Explanatory style as a predictor of productivity and quitting among life insurance sales agents. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50(4), 832–838.

6. Lyubomirsky S, King L, Diener E. The benefits of frequent positive affect: does happiness lead to success? Psychol Bull. 2005 Nov;131(6):803-55. doi: 10.1037/0033-2909.131.6.803.

7. Cohen S, Doyle WJ, Turner RB, Alper CM, Skoner DP. Emotional style and susceptibility to the common cold. Psychosom Med. 2003 Jul-Aug;65(4):652-7. doi: 10.1097/01.psy.0000077508.57784.da.

8. Shen, W., Zhao, Y., Hommel, B., Yuan, Y., Zhang, Y., Liu, Z., & Gu, H. (2019). The impact of spontaneous and induced mood states on problem solving and memory. Thinking Skills and Creativity, 32, 66–74.

9. Summary: Gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science

10. Gallup. (2020, January 7). How to improve employee engagement in the workplace. Gallup.

11. A research-based popular press summary from Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman in Greater Good Science Center